Why And How We Should Learn To Say No

  1. Strict parenting to ensure the child conforms to parents’ wishes. The child learns to say “Yes” only.
  2. Mixed parenting messages, like one moment is lenient and the next is conformity, confuse the child and the child yearns more attention from his/her parents.
  3. Uninvolved parenting where there is a problem with the work, relationship or certain mental health issues such as depression. This impacts the child in being the “solution” in the family where the parents are lacking of.
  4. Insecure parenting where parents do not love themselves and use the child to make them feel good. The child is pressurised to make the parent feel good.
  1. You want to demonstrate commitment or your worth in a task.
  2. Saying ‘No’ in your culture is consider rude.
  3. You want to be acceptable as a team player, not to be seen as defiant in a group.
  4. You are worried that it may impact our impressions or prospects within the organisation or relationship. You do not want to be seen as a difficult person.
  5. You are worried how others may perceived “No” from you.
  6. You do not want to feel guilty by rejecting someone.
  7. You are concern that you may be hurting the person’s feelings.
  8. Saying ‘Yes’ comes naturally to you.
  9. You want to return a favour or committed to return one.
  10. You are afraid of bigger uncertainty when you say “No”. The uncertainty of conflict.

Importance of able to say ‘No’

Learning how to say ‘No’

Is it worth to say “No” all the time ?



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I am a Software Engineer. Follow me on Linkedin at linkedin.ivantay.org